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Issue Number 2 April 2 2009
 
In
this
Issue:
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15 Mar. Cardboard City, Nof.

Early this morning, armed forces under the command General F.O.F.F. ‘Dutch Courage’ stormed the presidential Palace, capturing and canning the ‘el Presidente’ himself Mr. Colomba and throwing the N.O.F. even deeper into the political and national turmoil in which it was already in.

So far no casualties were reported.

This action was followed by nation wide series of arrests in which various activists of the green & popular parties were detained. However the leaders of those parties, The Abominable IceFoff and Hero F.O.F.F., were not amongst those detained, fueling speculation that both politicians have went underground.

Later on with a special announcement to the nation, General F.O.F.F. declared martial law to be affective immediately all over the

country; prohibiting the rights of F.O.F.F. citizens to convene, to protest and putting further state elections for presidency/Next best F.O.F.F. on permanent Hold. Further on, Gen. F.O.F.F. issued a curfew order that will be imposed daily, at night fall, by the army together with nation wide rationing of food & sausages.

At the end of his announcement to the nation Gen. F.O.F.F. released footage of Mr. Colomba, canned, in his prison cell, stating that he will put the ex-‘el Presidente’ on trial charging him with fraud, corruption, abuse of power and above all – treason.

Released footage of Mr. Colomba tin-canned
 
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Educationally approved by the Ministry of Stamps.

The earliest recorded documentation of the F.O.F.F. can be found in David Luxembourg 3rd Book of Absence. Although the F.O.F.F. project officially began in 2004, this first sketch, titled ‘Over the manifestation of F.O.F.F.’, was drawn in the summer of 2003 and expressed David’s desire to form a rock band with the same name, an idea that was abandoned shortly thereafter.

The sketch, or more actually the geometrical figures depicted in it continued to evolve through the end of 2003 as David explored various applications, plots, themes & inspirations for transforming these figures into real comic strip characters – heroes, heroines & villains.

‘Over the Manifestation of F.O.F.F.’ 2003
This exploration was concluded with David realizing that his drawing skills were lacking and so in January 2004 project F.O.F.F. was formed, taking the shape of a sketch exercises book rather than a fashion statement.

Yet already in the first 3 pages of this sketch book the tone is set for the nonsensical, irrational & monotonic dialog of the short strips. ‘Nihilism? Modern? Why?!’ reads the 1st page of the book- Thus hinting at the hidden post modernist criticism about the fashion world that will be expressed through this project in years to come.

A statement which is supported by the following ‘practice session’ on page 2 in which the visual function of Boob(s) for the F.O.F.F. is examined and concluded with their disqualification: "NO BOOB AL(L)OWED".

In our next issue:
History of the F.O.F.F. Part 2:
The Red Book
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THE NATIONAL F.O.F.F. GAZETTE
Page 2
‘N.O.F. in Turmoil! Leaders of Parliament are Outraged!'
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4 March. Cardboard City, Nof.

Using the absence of MR. Colomba, who is away on diplomatic mission to the European Parliament in Brussels, General F.O.F.F. ‘Dutch Courage’ has made his first move with his plans to unseat the ‘el Presidente’.

In a top secret meeting with high ranking officers and commander of the F.O.F.F. army, including members of the chief of staff, the general has unveiled his plans for the rehabilitation of the country, sparking rumors over the establishment of future Military ‘Junta’ administration that will take over the roles of the ministry of stamps.

Although it is known that general F.O.F.F. can relay on and rally the support of the army to his cause, it is still unclear what part can, or will, the elite Presidential Guard & the Sausage Legion divisions play in his clamp down on the seat of the presidency. Commanders in both have expressed their support towards Hero F.O.F.F., political rival of the General.

In the meanwhile activists and political figures of the Popular and Green parties have abandoned their plan to oust Mr. Colomba from his office via legal procedures through the N.O.F. constitutional court in light of these recent military developments. This is despite a recent leaking and publication of the Ministry of Stamps real vote count of last elections- giving The Abominable IceFoff of the Green Party a land slide win with 60% of all votes and showing his political rivals Hero F.O.F.F. & Gen. Dutch Courage trailing behind with 30% and 10% of the votes respectively.
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28 Feb. Cardboard City, Nof.

This Saturday as Mr. Colomba has been taken aback at the vote tally after a rigorous election contest, the political system of the N.O.F. descended into complete turmoil.
The race for the nation’s presidency has come to its end last Thursday and the official results that were released earlier this Saturday morning – handed Mr. Colomba the country with a landslide win as 90% of all eligible votes, while his adversaries The Abominable Ice F.O.F.F. of the Green Party, Hero F.O.F.F. of the Popular Party & Gen. Dutch Courage of the National Party have scored poorly with 6.8%, 2.4% & 0.8% respectively.

Mr. Colomba who was pleasantly surprised to have won such a massive political victory had this to say about his astonishing win: “After a hard fought political campaign I am happy to announce that I am the winner of the first ever democratic elections in the history of the Nation of F.O.F.F.. I‘d like to congratulate all the other candidates for their superb performance, enthusiasm and their effort, and thank to those voters who voted.”

Later that day after a joint emergency discussion over the situation, political figures of the Green and Popular parties, the heads of the parties, T.A. Ice F.O.F.F. & Hero F.O.F.F. conducted together a press conference where they expressed their outrage and severe disappointment from the way things turned out. “This is a shame, unlawful and unconstitutional and above all it is clear---and we have unquestionable proof about it---that these elections were rigged!” Thus spoke The Abominable Ice F.O.F.F..

Hero F.O.F.F. was much more clear and pragmatic about this matter: “Once again the‘bling-blink’ politics & the greedy and corrupt hands of Mr. Colomba have shamed
our nation and all of us who dared to dream and to believe that “Yes We Can” change our world & our future. This theft of power will not go unnoticed, nor will it remain unchallenged! We are calling for independent inquiry to the outcome of these elections and demand that Mr. Colomba will humbly kick himself out of his office and hand the reigns of power to this country’s rightful leaders.”

At the National Party HQ General ‘Dutch Courage’ who was also outraged at the manner in which these elections ended spewed out the following comment: “Mr. Colomba has proven himself to be nothing more then a blood sucking tic that has strategically situated itself at the anus of this fine and noble country. He is an enemy of the Nation of F.O.F.F. and I will mobilize the army, the navy, the air force of our mighty nation & even our national space agency---if we had any---and personally see to the removal of this decadent leech from office by force. This is what is necessary".

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THE NATIONAL F.O.F.F. GAZETTE
Page 3
First Presidential Official Visit to the European
Parliament Conducted by N.O.F. Head of State


N.O.F. Cultural Embassy Open in Portugal
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10 Feb. Porto, Portugal.

Nation of F.O.F.F. has opened its first cultural Embassy in the city of Porto, the economic and cultural heart of north Portugal. This move comes after long negotiations that dealt with expanding the diplomatic ties between the two countries. The embassy itself is located in ‘Mundano Objectos’ (Rua Miguel Bombarda No. 462) in Porto, a charming and poetic design shop that is a host for various international designers and design brands in Portugal.

The N.O.F. Cultural embassy is open on fridays and saturdays daily from 3 to 8 pm.
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4 Mar. Brussels, Belgium.

Today, accompanied by his entourage, Mr. Colomba, the ‘el Presidente’ of the Nation of F.O.F.F. himself, made his first visit to the European parliament with the invitation of EMP & representative of the Netherlands Toine Manders.

After touring the facilities, Mr. Colomba attend a parliamentary debate over the credit crunch in the image of European parliament & the numbness of European voters to the upcoming elections for European parliament this June. “With only 30% from all eligible voters actually showing up and having their
say things look pretty crunchy, in fact they seem to be as crunchy as a pack of ‘Lay’s chips’ or Doritos”, thus the ‘el Presidente’ , “These should be a national holiday, these elections. Millions of people, all over the continent, all voting in the same time, getting the same chance to better their lives, to make their voices heard and all in one day! It’s a ball! It’s a magnificent continent-wide political orgy! That’s what it is! A celebration of the European Democracy!” He added enthusiastically.

After the debate Mr. Colomba continued to tour the city of Brussels, visiting its famous town’s square & tasting Flemish fries at a local snack bar before finally hopping on his presidential ride back home.
In the photo: Mr. Colomba addrssing fellow policy makers at parliamentary debate in Brussels
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15 Feb. Paris, France.

Unclear whether he was taking a short vacation from office, or heading out on a diplomatic mission to France, Mr. Colomba has spent his week in Paris, where he attended various museums and expositions.

Prominent amongst these was Li Edelkoort's latest exposition ‘Archeology of the future’. The first exhibition of its kind to outline and define trend forecasting as a profession,
covering the most influential tendencies of the last 20 years in a show that was entirely dedicated to Li’s oeuvre.

Exiting the exposition Mr. Colomba shared his thoughts with the press: “Seeing this exposition took me back in time to a period long ago, when the F.O.F.F. themselves were entrusted with the sacred task of predicting future trends & colors. I would also like and use this occasion to commend Li Edelkoort on her work, her competent staff and her ‘je ne sais quoi’ allure”.

Accompanying Mr. Colomba in his trip was his long time friend Shrimpy Winkey. Together the two friends explored the city from the Eifel tower to the Louvre, making touristic stops in all of the usual stations .
In the photo: Mr. Colomba & Long time friend Shrimpy Winkey at the Eifel Tower
The Peoples Republic of F.O.F.F.I.A. Formaly Known As the Nation of F.O.F.F. is Currently under Military Regime
By Order OF:
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By Order OF:
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By Order OF:
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General F.O.F.F.
-Dutch Courage-
General F.O.F.F.
-Dutch Courage-
General F.O.F.F.
-Dutch Courage-
Justice at Last:

The general prosecutor of the Nation of F.O.F.F hereby declares that Mr. Colomba, the former ‘el Presidente’ himself, will be put on trial and be charged with the following criminal accounts: the rigging & manipulation of the first National F.O.F.F. elections, fraud, corruption, abuse of power and above all – Treason!
State of the Nation:

From the 5th of March, 2009 the Nation of F.O.F.F. is under Military Regime led General F.O.F.F., Leader of the F.O.F.F. right limb party, who, with the support of the newly formed presidential guard, has ousted that decedent pickle that was stuck like a butt plug in the anus of this fine country. The new military Junta regime of N.O.F. will act with an unquestionable and undisputable, deep commitment to this nation and to its people!
Power to the People:

The New military administration of N.O.F. is here to bring the ‘power back to the people’. After learning from the previous administration, the new Junta administration is forming a constitution that will bring political stability & prosperity to this fine nation. This will require a strong and concentrated effort by all F.O.F.F.! We must act as one, speak as one & stand strong, united & faithful to our leader!
Curfew Act:

To support our war on the enemy within the F.O.F.F. Junta Administration herby issues a curfew order. All none military F.O.F.F. must remain within their pockets every day from night fall till sunrise the following day. individuals caught ignoring this this order will be apprehandend and canned!
Food & Sausages Rationing Act:

The F.O.F.F. Junta Administration, guided by the principals of equality & egality, hereby declares that from this day forth stocking piling of sausages within the N.O.F. is forbidden under the new ‘Food & Sausage Rationing Act’. Individuals found stocking sausages or food above the weekly consumption quota will be severely punished & then thrusted into a tin can! .
Public Gatherings Act:

To ensure that all F.O.F.F. will speak in one loud voice, all public gathering must be approved by the newly formed F.O.F.F. Junta Administration. All F.O.F.F. are forbidden to convene otherwise, unlawful demonstration and popular protests will be dispersed by force .
     
For Sausage & Country! Enroll to the N.O.F. Armed Forces Now!

Fight for sausage & country! Take your rightful place in the new N.O.F. hierarchy and enjoy the exiting life style of Honor, Duty & Technology! Enroll now for service in N.O.F. Army, Navy, Air force or the elite Presidential Guard & Sausage Legion divisions and receive larger food & sausages quota weekly. Motivated & interested applicants should make contact with the Ministry of Stamps.
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THE NATIONAL F.O.F.F. GAZETTE
Leisure Section
The Chicago Cubs Try Again
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By Cubbie BeachFoff
& Daniel R. Gould

To follow the Chicago Cubs you got to love the game. To their fans, winning is only second on the list. Fortunately there are a lot of people in Chicago, the ‘Windy City’, that share my view. Last year, almost every game at Wrigley Field---named after the chewing gum company that owned the team until the early 80s---was sold out, if not all of them. In total, over 3,000,000 persons saw the Cubbies make it to the playoffs---only to loose the first three and be eliminated from further competition.

My love of the game began long before 1966 which was the year that I relocated to Chicago. I was excited about the prospects of following the Cubbies, as they are affectionally refered to, because they are perpetual loosers. Only when you truly love a sport can you follow such a team's exploits.

Back then, I was working for a scientific publishing company and was generally on “the road”, tooling across the US of A. Yet, on a particular week, in April 1969, I was actually in the city, making calls on clients. The radio in my car was on and tuned to WGN, “The Voice of the Cubs.” The first game of the season would be starting at 13:30. The announcer, Lou Boudreau was saying, “Hey, baseball fans, there are still empty seats in the bleachers [the worst seats in any stadium] so come on out to the ball park on a beautiful spring day in Chi Town!” I looked at my watch and saw that the game would be starting in about 15 minutes; I wasn’t far from the ball park, so I “U” turned, in that direction, immediately. I could even tell my boss, in New York, what I had done. He had played minor league baseball in his youth---he would understand.

Wrigley Field is a small park with an outfield wall covered in ivy that holds 40,000 people and located in a residential neighborhood on the near north side of the city. There were, then, no large parking lots, nor several story high parking garages. I found an illegal parking space and hurried to the stadium.

Once there, I saw two very long lines at each ticket-selling window. Shortly after one of the windows closed---tickets sold out---that line merged with my line. It was now twice as long and it didn’t look good. Five more minutes went by when I noticed a man walking along the line waving something in his hand and saying something. When he got to me, I realized he was trying to sell a ticket. I waved
him over and asked what he had? “A box seat ticket,” was the answer. “Is it at a good location?” His reply: “Great one!” Hmmm...”How much?” The answer was five dollars for a three dollar priced ticket. Well, okay, I could afford it and the chances of buying a ticket at the window was pretty close to impossible. I gave him the five.

The seat location, listed on the ticket, meant nothing to me. I entered the stadium and looked for the section and once I found that, I passed through an alley like ramp and emerged at a location between home plate and first base. Wow! I showed an usher the ticket stub and he led me to the holy-of-holies section directly behind the baseball dugout where the players sit. My seat was four rows from the team. I had died and gone to heaven which is a place in Wrigley Field.

I had been sitting for only a few minutes when the man sitting on my right turned to me and said, “Where did you get the ticket?” I told him how someone had sold it to me outside the stadium. He continued, “Tall, sandy hair, about 30-35?” “That’s him!” He then asked, “How much did you pay?” “Five dollars.” He looked at me as if he was looking at some fool and said, “I sold it to him for three dollars.” And with a smile on my face, I replied, “I would have paid twenty dollars to sit here if I had known.”

...And the game? Well, Ernie Banks, who would go onto the Baseball Hall of Fame, and one of my all time sport heros, hit two home runs. Fergie Jenkins, another of my heros, pitched a masterful game going into the ninth inning, I think it was, before being replaced by a pinch hitter when he was due to come to bat with the game tied. The Cubbies won the game in the 11th inning on a pinch-hit home run by a new comer to the team, Willie Smith.

This was the kick-off game to a great season which saw the Cubs in first place until the beginning of September when a new New York team, The Mets, came out of no-where to become the Miracle Mets and go to the World Series---they won, too. I still remember a photograph that appeared in one of the newspapers during that last month. It pictured a nine or ten year old boy---with ball, glove and bat---kneeling next to his bed in prayer. The caption read, “Please, God, let the Cubs win the pennant,” that would have allowed them to advance to the World Series. Alas, God was out-on-lunch.

They have not BEEN in a World Series since 1946, and lost when a fan's pet goat was ejected from the stadium and a hex...but, that's another story. Even worse, they have not WON a World Series since 1908. It is now 2009 and the drought is in its 101st year. So, here I am, waiting for the beginning of a new season and hoping that God gets back on the job.

© 2009 Daniel R. Gould
Photo: Suzuka Yanagimoto


Travel & Design
Norwegian Vintage Packages
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By Fuwa Fuwa IceFoff
& Suzuka Yanagimoto

When traveling into a new country, we always keep our eyes open for old dairy packages. Not only because old packages are as valuable vintage items as any other ornamental, or designed vintage items but mostly because old packages are valuable items which can tell us, visually, a lot about the local, or national life style at their time.

We bought these Norwegian vintage packages from an old Norwegian man who owns an antique shop on the beach somewhere along the versatile Norwegian coastline, through the years he has been collecting a lot of vintage items in his shop, but these had caught our eyes both with their design and their content.

Back in 1950-70, packages were made for everyday foods, like orange marmalade, cranberries marmalade, and fresh cream. They were designed simply and clearly, as may be expected of creation in the midst of Scandinavian modernism.

We think that even now Scandinavian package designs are wonderful, as they are still designed with clarity and simplicity. But we love the vintage ones better because of the cool and nostalgic feelings that they communicate. When looking at them, we feel that can gaze through time and imagine how Scandinavian dairy life were during the modern age.


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THE NATIONAL F.O.F.F. GAZETTE
Market`s Covarage
F.O.F.F. Market`s Covarage
The National F.O.F.F. Gazette Ads Section and E-Shop
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Soft Teddyfoff
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